THERE’S SO MUCH WRONG WITH ME

You might think and feel there’s so much wrong with you or your life but let me tell you, there really is so much wrong with me. We all try to show the world, the people be it the ones we meet or come across on daily basis, friends, family or social media that we’re good, we share with them all that is good about us. We try to hide our flaws, we don’t want to put any attention or speak on our insecurities because we feel then the people will judge us upon that.

I in March last year 2018 decided to do the complete opposite, I used my blog to speak of my story, my illness. I spoke about what is actually going on in my life, spoke about what I’ve been facing in life, I was always going to speak on my illness, I wanted to do it on a bigger platform with a bigger audience but there was that moment that felt so right, where  I was so proud of my journey and couldn’t contain to speak on my illness, my journey, my flaws.

My illness kills my muscles, my illness has no cure. Whether it comes to your mind or not let me tell you, that leaves me with not one problem but near enough hundred. Every time I go to any type of hospital or GP appointment, I have to prepare myself for what I already know is waiting for me. It is never a normal chilled appointment for me, I am always going to hear something, how I can’t ever do something, how it’s only going to get worse from here, how there is nothing I can do, there’s serious/severe problem with this, you have no strength, your muscles are so weak etc. naming just a few lines I get to hear.

But if you are a friend, family or ever been around me, you would agree you sense this aura of happiness, positivity and as if nothing is wrong, as if a problem has never touched me. I am so content with myself, I have my breakdowns, but I don’t let anything get to me for longer than it should. Yes, I’ve just taken on the worst heart-breaking news and it has made me burst into tears, yes, I’m feeling so unworthy and useless walking out of that building but by the time I get to my room things are different. I know my worth, I know I am not useless. My illness plays a big part in my life and always will, but it is not my life. I can’t change something that I was born with, I can’t control something that was never in my control.

It is important, so important, to face your problems, your flaws because for as long as you try to hide them from the world or run away from them, they are only going to come at you stronger to break you, you will be pushed down again and again be it your confidence, will to live, love or to be yourself, you have to stand up to it all.

When you stand tall with a smile on your face, aware of your truth, your journey, your constant battles in life then people fall in love with you for you. You give them hope, you are confidence to them, you do not get judged, you get admired. You’re the kind of energy they connect to, they find comfort in, energy they want to not only be surrounded by but be of themselves. Never underestimate how many people out there can connect with what you have to say, we are all facing different fights in life, but one person’s mindset can affect the others in how they go about dealing with what they’re facing.

It hurts to see someone lose hope, it hurts to see someone give up, it hurts to see someone just hurting. Why are people, why are you doing that to yourself when there’s so much about you that makes you, you. Which if you was to overcome you’d not only have so much to give yourself but to this world too and so much, beyond your imagination for the world to give you back.

You think it’s the end, you think things can’t get better or won’t ever change but let me tell you, it’s all your mindset and what ever you go by or believe to be true, will be. In life we can hold things, situations, circumstances or people to blame it on but it is bitter truth that nothing and no one can be blamed if anything the blame falls on you and only you, a sweet truth for those who want to make changes, and are willing to fight the odds, who know what they’re worthy of.

We all have darkness in our lives, it’s about being the light not only in your own life but in others too.

Take control of what is in your control, your mindset.

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